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Monday, June 30, 2003

physics common test is over! aiyah..i really enjoyed myself today..looking at everyone around me scratch head and dunno how to do..why they so stoopid har? dun they understand..must study (at least) 55 times den can...i was breezing thru the paper! hopefully can get A*!! too bad its over..anyway here's a useful guide to curves in physics for next time prelims! enjoy! <:B





Physics common test todae!!! yayy..mi favourite subject..itz realli damn easy...just mug all the formulae can liao..like V=RI, I=V/R, R=V/I(must memorise all the variations of one formula as well)...no need to wonder how come liddat..when u see the question..just scroll thru the list of formulae that u haf memorised...find the one that fits and insert it...so simple...wish Bird luck pple! i shall hafta start mi journey to school now since i live in the eastest of east...<:P

Saturday, June 28, 2003

well a piece of shocking news has affected the way i live mi life forever...Marc-Vivien Foe dies during the semi-finals of the Confeds Cup...terrible and sad...how come play soccer also can die 1?? im never going to play soccer animore...maybe i will stick to squash...but i remember that day Lui zham me across the arm with his racket...mite happen again...ok..no squash for me too..i hum i hum...got wat other sports left for me to play ar? hmm...maybe i'll hafta try to pick up lawn bowling...yah i think that one can...bowling still a bit danger...wait slip on the smooth floor den dunno wat else can happen...betta not...or maybe..i should just study!! <:P

Friday, June 27, 2003

Dear Blog,
I have not written to you for very long because I have been busy studying. So far I have studied each subject around 55 times..but I still think it is not enough. How liddat how?
Anyway I am writing today because of this girl.
I think I am in love with her. She is very pretty, like a bird in the sea. She is very hot, like an..ant in a pot.

Until I found out the truth about her - she is actually a..a..i cant bear to say this..she is actually a MAN, like ME!! Ok actually she is not actually a man.. but she was a man. Then one day he decided to see the doctor, and when he came out, he was no longer a he, and people started calling him "she". So yah my question is, is he a he or is she a she? If I marry him err her, is he also to be called Mr. Bird? Am I gay? And what really happened to his, i mean her, little bird? This is all very confusing, no one taught me all this in biology leh! How liddat how?

Thursday, June 26, 2003

sorry for the long delay in blogging...i had to finish up mi revisions...remember i said that 5 was the magic number?? well i thought that since 5 was good..55 would be double the power..so i started mi quest to cover each topic 55 times..aniwae..with the recent opening of the North East Line..i haf decided to reveal mi secret BIRD TRAVEL TIP..
well u see..i stay in Pasir Ris..way off in the East..actualli the eastest of the east..but itz a good place...u can get to aniwhere from pasir ris...okae..letz say im at RJ and i want to get to say Yishun Stadium..now i haf no idea how im going to get to Yishun Stadium from RJ...but i do know how to get to Yishun Stadium from mi house at pasir ris...yeaa...so the normal ben4 dan4s will choose the easy way out by taking a cab from RJ to Yishun...and waste plenty of money...wat they do not know is there is a cheaper way!! u dunno how to get from RJ to Yishun but u noe how to get from Pasir RIs to Yishun...common sense would tell u to go from RJ to Pasir Ris and then from Pasir Ris to Yishun!! itz like so DUHHH....i wonder why pple dun do this..taxi here taxi there...
okae another BIRD TRAVEL TIP to get maximum value for money...so i want to go Yishun MRT from Pasir Ris MRT...usually i would take to city hall and change train...but with the new NEL..i can take the train to outram park den switch trains..den i go to dhoby ghaut and switch trains again...there!! i get to take 2 different trains for the same price!! how cool is that? <:P

Monday, June 23, 2003

i remember this quote from mi history teacher in RI.."I am not who I think I am, I am not who you think I am, but I am who I think you think I am"
uh-oh...judging from mi poll results i sure hope this quote isnt really true man...<:P

Saturday, June 21, 2003

good evening to all mah fans out there! tonight i am feeling very romantic listening to my romantic mp3s. so i decide to dedicate this one to u-know-who.. jami* er i mean ****** or maybe (but probably not) *** ** ****!! its called "Tian Xia You Qing Ren" by Emil Chau and Qi Yu..get the cantonese version..its nicer even though i don't understand anything (as usual)..nvm lemme attempt to translate to english..
love is somethingsomething
love is somethingsomething not drunk dont return
somethingsomething wait till when then we can understand
love is something snowflakes from the sky kena vapourise
love is something teardrops solidify into ashes
wait for red dust something
somethingsomethingsomething
love is somethingsomething like a rose in the wind
love is somethingsomething lovers don't regret
love is one life one time something dun care north south east west
love is bits and pieces of yes and no
somethingsomething lovers say goodbye
love is something snowflakes from the sky kena vapourise
love is something teardrops solidify into ashes
wait for red dust something
somethingsomething

Thursday, June 19, 2003

about one and a half more weeks to common test 2!! i've covered math 4 times..physics 7 times..chemistry 18 times and econs 47.5 times..must chiong econs because that time lim guat ching sorta made a subtle insinuation that i was stupid..im so gonna get mi revenge man...aniwae..i've gotta cover math at least one more time cos if i cover anithing 5 or more times..most probably i will succeed in getting mi A!! for all those who have only covered everything once or twice..better to be safe than sorry..aim for FIVE..
ok here's another bird tip for solving questions u dun understand in assignments, TYS or watever...ok say u encounter a question u haf no idea of understanding in yer TYS...
memorise the question...flip to the answer page and memorise the answer to the question...now close the book...count to 5..open the book and start doing yer TYS from the start..when u arrive at the question u dinnoe how to do that..recall the answer u memorised earlier and write it down..now u know how to do it!! simple!!
now i will give u a BIRD special math tip...for the inequalities questions..usually they will require u to sketch a graph and den "hence or otherwise," solve the inequality..now this is a very cunning question..the trick word here is "sketch"...see in the exam hall u are allowed to ask for graph paper for free..(many pple dunno this)..so raise yer hand and ask for one..proceed in plotting the graph carefully on the graph paper...after doing so..the rest is easy..simply obtain the answer from the graph...if the answer requires a very precise figure...u can always ask for more graph paper and join them together..this allows u to set a suitable and accurate scale like 10mm : 0.00001..this is a guaranteed sure win method!! <:P

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

yesterday had a sakae sushi buffett..seems like the in thing nowadays... at first not bad lah..the sushi was quite nice at first..there was the fried dumplings..and the soft shell crab..it was quite funny trying to think of ways to hide the rice..either squashing them between plates, or hiding them under the plate covers, or hiding them in the miso soup and chawan mushi bowls, or dumping them into an ntuc plastic bag under the table..clarence was the best man he actually went to clear the plates himself once so noone could find out..thx rence!actually i think we were very kiasu..i mean its like going to a pizza buffet and koping all the toppings and cheese and dumping the bread! but who am i kidding man..anyways..everyone got very full quite quickly..the buffett is not as satisfying as you think..unless u all out chiong the liao only..heck care the rice..

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

SARS Joke!

One elderly patient resting in a hospital bed asked the day nurse if his testicles were black. Exhausted and cranky, the nurse yanked forth his sheets and pointed with an outstretched finger, stating loudly that the man's testicles appeared just fine and that SARS was exclusively a respiratory disease. Embarrassed, the patient pulled the heavy cloth mask from his face and informed her that all he wanted to know was if his test results were back.

Monday, June 16, 2003



im the dumberest! click here for the dumb and dumberer glow in the dark website..and don't forget to turn off the lights first dumdum

ok here's a dumass joke:
Smartass: Pick one of these
Dumass: ok
Smartass: Red or Blue?
Dumass: ..or
hmm..i visited mi blog again...and i realised wat i just said was a bit confusing..well..lemme see..i am the stupid one (as u all keep saying)..and i am the one writing this blog...hmmm..den who is the stupid person writing about the stupid one?? ahh...*ponder* it's MEE!! crap man..i just suaned miself..dumb quote..stupid antz..<:P
yesterdae watched antz and i really love this quote man!!
worker ant zee said to princess bala: " who's more pathetic? the moron or the moron who got kidnapped by the moron? "
den it ocurred that applied in another context it would be:" who's more stupid, the stupid one or the stupid person writing about the stupid one ?"


Sunday, June 15, 2003

i got this off someone else's blog..."Falling in love has nothing to do with gravity" i gave it some thought..surely this cant be true?? it is common knowledge that falling is due to an acceleration caused by the Earth's gravitational field..the formula for this is GM/r^2...ok..i got the values for G and M..but how to get the radius or distance between love and earth?? wa lau..damn hard man..maybe that's y falling in love has nothing to do with gravity..becos u cannot define the distance between Earth and love..but Newton cant be wrong can he?? i think i'll go ask Boon Poh about this...hmmm..maybe Joan Fong would be betta..
shh i tell u all secret ok..u know the poll on the left sidebar hor..it say "please answer truthfully"...the truth is im not too bright... but wait..i can outsmart the quiz!! u see, it is possible to cheat by choosing the non-honest option! so i choose "Nope..Not stupid at ALL leh.." shh dun tell anyone ok! dun let the public find out..

Saturday, June 14, 2003

please answer mi poll...i haf decided to use it to gather empirical evidence about myself...<:P
check out mi latest photo man!! it is a poster of the up and coming movie starring none other than me..bird himself!! it is mostly due to the popularity of this site that they have chosen to place me in the leading role..yayy..i get to go to hollywood...think it must be a pretty damn big place..i wonder how they managed to store godzilla in hollywood...and the T-rex too...how did they manage to train godzilla so well? there were no mistakes in his movie lor..

Friday, June 13, 2003


someday im gonna be like him! go bird go!

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Bird's "Whine and Dine" Restaurant Review

Ka Soh Restaurant
i have had the (mis)fortune of visiting this restaurant twice recently..first let me begin by saying this place is somewhere in depot road..far far far from the East..somemore the actual restaurant is so damn ulu..it is near this gillman seafood restaurant (another somewhat shitty restaurant..but that's another story)
the first time i went there..terrible service man..i had to get up and go to the counter to get the menu myself..den had to wait damn long for anyone to serve us..the food was ok but got one "special offer" must warn u all about..the braised superior sharks fin with scallops..first there's hardly any sharks fin..second the "scallops" is actually one already damn small piece of scallop cut into two..wah kns man..$12 for a bowl of water, starch, vinegar and pepper.. pui pui pui.
the second time i went there was for lunch..this time the food was much better..got 1 big fish and another big bowl of frogs soup with a lot of frog, more frog than soup i dare say..both very very tasty.. each was only $12...good value for money!! and the service this time was very fast and efficient!
but when the bill came what a shock man! what supposed to be $24 meal become $42!! how liddat how..every bowl of rice $1, some pickled shit for appetiser $2, tea $2, towel 60c, and lastly: orange juice $4!!! even though the juice was actually quite nice and taste like they squeeze themselves (the oranges) one..still $4.. +10% service %4 GST and %1 cess. charge. wth is cess charge anyway!? now if u really want affordable and good zi cha..go to the hong kong street chun kee place..its around there somewhere lah go look for it..odaccians like me np finding it..

lessons learnt
1 ) bring your own rice
2 ) do not order orange juice..in fact do not order anything extra
3 ) come at lunchtime only
4 ) the pictures on the restaurant walls showing celebs like fann wong, christy chung and patrick tse are fake
5 ) and so are the newspaper articles on it

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

i have finished watching joe millionaire...and boy those girls are way past stupid..take a hairy, scruffy guy...add 50mil and he becomes tall dark and handsome...these are the harsh realities of the money driven world...it truly is terrible...i think i'll stick with mi tutorials...i found this part of the show particularly amusing..the dude said that choosing the 12 girls was probably the hardest thing he ever did in his life...haha..but of cos it is!! he's a construction worker!
aniwae here's an anonymous quote i found somewhere "You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her"
hmm..i find that this quote can be adapted to suit other purposes...like so.."You don't scold bird because he is stupid, but bird is stupid because you scold him" <:P
2000 hits and counting!! i never knew mi humble little blog would be so interesting to so mani pple...after all it is mere descriptions of mi daily happenings..ohh yah im going to watch Joe Millionaire later tonite...haha...talk about stupid man..all those pple falling in love with some cleaner dude...
stupidity is relative..and im glad i have finally found pple below me...<:P

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

hmmm..cats have 9 lives...and cats eat birds...so shouldnt birds have 10 lives? <:P
im so looking forward to common test!
here are the topics im looking forward to revise..
maths from chapeter 15 onwards and all the revision tutorials
econs dunno..
chem ionic chen equilibria kinetics and everything from organic
physics all these years work

Monday, June 09, 2003

here's a quote that's gonna stun all of u left rite centre...even I dun understand this man...here goes
"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise that what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."
--- The Duchess from Alice in Wonderland

just woke up form my sleep....damn damn tired man...the stupid adventure quest...expected us to be superman or something leh!!! kayaked bout run dunno how long den kayak 20+k in 4 hours...den run bout 15k in 1.5 hours...all under the hot sun and with bag...den clay!!! wa lao!! they expected us to fly or something man!!!
aniwae onli 28 out of 49 teams managed to finish if thats any consolation...ha but got lots of 100 plus lah...drink till die one leh! ooops ha luckiliy rence didin;t come and watch me fly down suntec!!! haha we jumped down plaza sing instead...ha if he had gone down surely kena bombed again! deen quite sad also...cos we were sort of a relay den my team was the second leg and we alreadi got cut there...den the third team couldn't proceed to do anything...hai really sorry to those pple...
well aniwae the goodie bag not bad...ha got tuna spread, den got 2 penguin sponge, got 2 shirts(quite ugly) one, got one small bottle to store dunno wat one and got a MAP OF SINGAPORE! perfect for lui to go hiking man!
the entry posted earlier must be a phantom man! wah lao my sat how powerful!!! qie jervis upside down man!!! just wait ah! and pls continue to do what lui has been doing...kepp refreshing to get hits...or else he will be sad!!! again, THIS BLOG IS SOOO SOO CREEATED BY ME MAN!!!

haiz lost the adventure quest...aiyah..oh well now that the holidays are here its back to my favourite pastime..mugging! starting right now..
here's a cool optical illusion that blew my mind..check it out
and even more optical illusions

oh yah my lovely photo album is up..click here or the link on the sidebar..gogogo

Saturday, June 07, 2003

check out the Asia Section of The Straits Times today!! got mi picture!! dunno y that student go and draw me also...think i must be too famous liao...aniwae i took SATs todae...the analogies quite difficult..i got stuck on the last analogy of the 2nd page and decided to skip it and go on to the next page...den i realised that in SAT u are not supposed to flip back!! so i just lost one mark just like that...wa lau...den they veri cunning..put the critical reading passage on one side and the questions on the other..so once u read finish the passage and flip to the questions u cannot flip back to read the passage liao..cunning mann...im aiming for 1210..better than the average american..how good! <:P

Friday, June 06, 2003

today i pon school
for the first time ever
i think i am cool
i told mother, "Never."

actually i pon school today cos for the past week i have been coming back at 11+... so no time to study SAT..so today i will piah 7 practice SATS..according to past experience, if i do anything 5 times, i will succeed..like that time chem prac..i did it 5 times..

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Sports Update : Gold Edition
2S06B econs quiz representatives get r4p3D during MCQ quiz! i should have gone man..im how clever..
RJ boys lose 4-1!! we were 0W^3d..kudos to ahmad jensen darryl and co. for valiant attempt!!
RJ girls + p00n 0Wn them! gr47z p00n and co.!!
Joshua gets a turkey in his Ah Balling game today! Stoopid Balling alley..the pin setting machine damn koyak one..keep spoiling..must keep resetting..nvm thanks for the free ah balling joshua! will pay you back soon(er or later)..
Serendipididipidity! hotties perform santana..err i was bz odaccing somewhere else didn't really see much
Most importantly..
Sunday! AXN Adventure Quest! See me and fellow Birdians in action as we traverse 100km of the most arduous and treacherous territory you never knew existed in our humble island!
Sports Update -->RJ boys lost tennis while girls won...brave show of courage and fighting spirit..good job!!

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

"everyone has the right to be stoopid..some people just abuse that privilege"
i got mi revenge on lui today!! he has proved that stupidity is prevalent everywhere...lui arrived in school without a school bag today...the reason being that he thought GP common test was in the morning so lessons were off...wat a thing to do...please big it up for Lui Yu Kwang <:P

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Bird's Philosophy For Dummies

Thirty spokes are joined at the nave to make a wheel
But it is the space between that lets it function
Lumps of clay are fashioned into a vessel
But it is the emptiness within that renders it useful
Doors and windows are cut to build a room
But it is the enclosure that furnishes a shelter
As we benefit from that which exists,
Let us recognise the utilty of that which does not.

- From the 'Tao Te Ching' by Lao Zi

ah! i understand liao.. it means that i am Bird and act like Bird due to the lack of grey matter inside my head.. "let us recognise the utilty of that which does not (exist)"...everyone should recognise the importance of my lack of brain.. if i had even half a brain (that's a big IF) i wouldnt be the Bird that i am today...
well after rounds and rounds of persuasion i finally managed to get jervis to lend me his bicycle for the odac adventure quest..due to mi success..i would like to share the BIRD technique of persuasion with everyone...
first off..start politely of cos say "Can i borrow yer bicycle please?"..without waiting for ani reply..proceed with saying "please" about ten more times sorta like "please leh...please lah..please please please..please lah..." the way u say "please" is very important..it has to be soft yet irritating...if the person u are asking a favour from has not given in..proceed a bit further but avoid being too aggressive...this is done by alternating the use of "come on lah.." and "please" like so "please lahh..come on lah...ay come on lah come on lah..please please please"...usually everyone would have given in by now but if he is a tough nut to crack..we resort to sympathy...start looking down and crestfallen..it would be best if u could turn a bit red and have tears well up yer eyes...now in a downcast voice..say "ayy...dun like that lehh..i really need (whatever)..pleaasee...oi dun like that lahh..." mi technique has not failed before so i highly encourage it to everyone...do give it a shot...and remember that this tip is one of many BIRD TECHNIQUES...please consult me if u want to know more of them and about the BIRD CODE OF CONDUCT...<:P

Monday, June 02, 2003

i realised im quite forgetful today...u see during chem i highlighted a sentence on mi notes and den placed the highlighter into mi pocket..ten minutes later i opened mi pencil case and seeing no highlighter there, proceeded in asking jervis for a highlighter...he responded by taking mi pencil case and opening it..i promptly shouted at him "I don't have a highlighter lah!!" to which i got a reply "But i just saw you use one!"..hmm..mi brain waves started working..sending electric impulses here and there and 5 seconds later i realised i had indeed used a highlighter..sure enuff..i looked down and found it in mi pocket...sigh..realli getting old..starting to lose hair and now mi memory is failing...how liddat how?

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