Wednesday, July 30, 2003

ohh yah..i hafent told u guys about mi dream university..it is the University of Nebraska!! it all started when i went to the exhibition that day and saw this rather bird looking guy at the University of Nebraska booth...feeling comforted that there were more of mi kind around..i decided to ask him some questions...most of the replies that followed were "errm..im not very sure..." or "ermm..i dun really think so..." yeap..so seems pretty good...SAT score of 1200 confirms a place for u...in fact u dun even need SAT to apply!! wat a great place...was flipping thru the pamphlet they gave out and saw that the University is near the beach..how cool..can go kayaking everyday...hmm..shit..i forgot to ask that bird guy whether got ani mountains for me to climb nearby...
aniwae..jervis keeps saying that University of Nebraska is cannot make it 1...so i decided to ask LGC about it...after class i approached her but before i could open mi mouth to ask about the University..she banged me first..."Samuel ah, how is your econs S going? how come always get U?" i haf onli got U+ once for Econs S..that is mi best score...how liddat how?? <:P

Monday, July 28, 2003

Birdblog Sports Update: Judo Finals!
This was to be the last final of the year.. rj girls and boys both in the finals vs hwa chong..after a hard fight girls lost..then the guys clay also..but the mvp award goes to ryu, er i mean emerson for the incredible ryu throw, which too bad wasn't counted, it was exactly like the front + heavy kick throw from street fighter!!

and after that the over the shoulder, which was the front + heavy punch!!..SHINKUUU---- HADOOOUKEN!!~~

also worthy of mention was the 5th match(which was of no consequence by the way)..the chen yi was of behemoth proportions..kinda like zangief..
because of the high intensity of the throw..i was unable to post the video directly here..click HERE to see the rest

Saturday, July 26, 2003

today go college day..yesterday i thought i would pon today..but in the end i hum..so i go today..after that i went the american uni thing in suntec.. i think the girl at the michigan booth was quite cute...plus the range of SAT scores for michigan entry is quite low.. so i have decided to apply there! hee..

Birdblog Game Review: The Hulk
I posted a movie review of the hulk..i gave it a very good rating..well this game takes place a year after the movie.. u control banner/hulk, the banner missions where u sneak around were very very stoopid, im not the sneaky kind of guy..luckily those missions were very easy.. the fun starts when you play as the hulk..u have an arsenal of moves..like hulk smash, hulk clap er and other moves i dunno the name of.. as you bash up more and more stuff, your rage-o-meter fills up..and when its full u can do a super move..like a super hulk smash or a super hulk clap. the badguys were quite irritating, all the little soldiers shooting at you actually make you lose health..the mutant dogs were even more irritating..so in the end i use cheat code..for invincibility and unlimited rage-o-meter.. sianz lah so fast finis the game liao.. anyway..good graphics and sound, decent gameplay (for the first hour or so), zero replayability..
I give this game 3 out of 5 birds.

Friday, July 25, 2003

haiz today so sad.. who would have thought something like that could happen? was it the stress? did she have noone to turn to for help? didnt anybody see it coming? could it have been prevented? so many questions, but no answers..and any answers would be too late anyways..RIP.

this brings to mind a chinese quote "heaven and earth like an oven, refine and melt. day and night like charcoal, all things become copper." excuse the liberal translation.. it basically says humans are put here on earth like metal in a big smelter..we enter a world of suffering..we burn and roast inside..and we all die anyway. so why bother?

oh its 11, time to mug! byebye..

Thursday, July 24, 2003

kena scolded todae again...mi and mi buncha frens were strolling along the canteen when i heard a "beep beep beep"...i exclaimed "whose pager??" to mi surprise and horror..everyone around me burst out laughing...some pointed to a big lorry truck that was reversing...i din realli get wat the joke was...only after did i realise that big lorry trucks make beep beep noises when they reverse...i mean like how stupid is that??? reverse den reverse lah..kao beh so much for wat??
aniwae...Xm told me that fish was brain food todae...mi mum never told me that...in fact..mi whole family doesnt eat fish!!! i think not correct lah...i still quite smart wat even if i dun eat fish...<:P

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

i went for the SMU talk todae...gosh it was useful man..it helped mi make up mi mind..never will i go to SMU...bleahh man...i haf also decided that i shall start filling up US university application forms...i haf come to conclusion that maybe if i sent out 55 applications...i should get accepted by at least one....i think...wish me luck man...so shall i start with MIT, Harvard, Yale or Princeton??? <:P

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

hmm..long time never update liao...i haf been trying to chiong mugging cos i think jervis has sped far ahead of me...aniwae..i haf finally seen the light...that lectures arent realli very useful...kailing sneaking off to the library during physics lect was the confirmation i needed...i haf decided...i haf made the choice...i haf stamped mi foot down...i haf decided...ahh..the choice has been made...i haf laid down mi fist...erm..i haf decided!! i will not go fer animore physics lecture!!! it has taken mi alot of courage to do this...dun pao tou me hor...please lah please lah..come on lah come on lah...
aniwae...new quote -->
"If two wrongs can't make a right, try three"
hmmm..i shall be trying that..sounds pretty good no? <:P

Saturday, July 19, 2003

news! from yesterday's Today newspaper. haaha yesterday's Today! get it? wahahaha..
anyway the column is about the hohohopofun incident.. it also made mention of the beating up incident in some top school.. they didn't mention its name... but called it Anonymous Clever School...now WHAT is Anonymous Clever School? RI arh? Chinese High? I suspect they're trying to be funny here..anywayz the beating up incident is about 6 idiots who beat up some poor idiot and, of course being the idiots they are they proceeded to film the whole incident with some digicam or phonecam or whatever.. kudos to the 6 for such unprecedented stoopidity! do you see me filming my Own stoopidity? ...i oughtta learn from them!!

I thus formally award them the Purple Cross of Stoopidity, the highest distinction of stoopidity ever conferred upon anyone!

today during econs remedial for everyone.. guatching was talking about some multiplier process or something..then she mentioned how money would be passed on from like seng chiew to mohammad to poon to shiwei to soandso and such... i eagerly awaited for my name to be called out... but it was never to be.. sighz what have i done wrong to offend her? am i not her pet no more?..was i ever?? *sniff*

Thursday, July 17, 2003

hoho..new quote by courtesy of dick's blog...
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
just check this out..einstein says i got infinite power lor...watch out man <:P

for gp common test as i was reading through the compre passage... an astonishing question struck me... so i said out aloud,"EH..the single sex marriage har..how they reproduce to carry on the family." clever right? i think they reproduce asexually..like amoeba..so when they, err, do it..they merge into one..then they split into four....then these four will merge into two and split into 8 and so on..this follows a geometric progression of er i dun really know what the gp is..

anyway today was "be nice to bird Day" which occurs on the 17th of every month. so everybody was very nice to me..i found it quite wierd... during physics pracs jervis and lui gave me their stopwatches to do my prac..but i only got 2 hands cannot operate 3 at one time..

now i am in chem lec..as usual i am not learning anything..neither is anyone around me..but i still feel obliged to go..rules are made to be followed!! i shall follow them to the end of time..

oh and one more thing thx to jieke for the jap pingpong link..

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

here's a neato trick..go to www.google.com..type in "weapons of mass destruction"..instead of clicking on the search button, click on the "Im feeling lucky" button..go on watcha waiting for --> www.google.com
waa..terrible day in school todae...jervis brought a new weapon to attack me with..(a bottle of glue)...den he and lui proceeded in trying to glue mi worksheets together...i tried mi veri best to look pissed and successfully managed to fend off their attacks...ok..aniwae..i was doing mi maths induction tutorial for the 46th time yesterdae and i realised i dinnoe how to do question 7B..so i brought it to school todae and started asking pple how to do it...i started asking since civics (the first period) and up till the end of the day(5.10pm)..i still had not the answer...pple i asked either gave me a blank stare...scolded mi for no reason...called mi stoopid..threw it back at me...dropped it on the floor and lui of cos tried to glue it together...wat a guy..
nothing is going mi way man...yesterdae the friends episode was supposed to be "The one with the Mugging" so i decided to take half an hour off mi busy schedule to get some hot tips on mugging...and in the end it turned out to be some episode on Ross being robbed!! wat crap lah...stupid Life newspaper keep printing TV schedules wrongly...wasted mi time just like dat...
has any of u watched the jap gameshow where contestants put up an short item and try and pass the 15/20 barrier? well here is w/o a doubt one of the best performances ever (if not the best), getting a full 20/20 and deserving every point..click here..thanx to Ghimblog for the link!

Monday, July 14, 2003

hohoho! after watching the video (i give it 4 out of 5 birds) i realise one thing: just because you are in rjc doesn't mean you're not stoopid! now im i know im not the only one! hee. first let's begin with the student getting scolded..dunno what he was doing lah..anyhow do gp hw. aiyah also no need to bomb him until liddat right! i also anyhow do mah..hee.
ok next is the teacher. aiyoh no need to bomb him until liddat rite?! so poor thing. called the student a lot of unpleasant things tsktsk! not even my friends scold me liddat loh.. even though they say im stoopid..and they scold me nonstop..actually i know they are scolding me for my own good! because they love and care for me! ha.
and last but definitely not the least stoopid..the cameraman! whether what he did was right or wrong i wun bother to debate..but definitely it was Very Very VERY stoopid!!! and believe me, when bird says someone is stoopid - he is really stoopid.

there we go! three people who deserve the highest distinction for stoopidity from birdblog! i hereby award them the Purple Cross of Stoopidity for their incredible stoopidity displayed under adverse conditions. Congratulations!

Sunday, July 13, 2003

hohoho po fun on the news!! making headlines everywhere...for those who dunno..some sneaky boy went to tape her scolding a PRC boy...well this goes to show that no one ought to get scolded for being stupid...
ohh yah..forgot to blog on fridae...it was debra's birthday on friday and we went to eat at some mexican restuarant at holland V...i ordered some chicken thingy which arrived first...well since birthday girl debra din haf her food yet..i decided not to eat...u noe..itz like those OG thingys..cannot eat until everyone has their food..and must say some pledge first...yahh..aniwae..everyone else around me who got their food early started eating straight away...itz bad enuff that they started eating before debra..but wat made it worse was that they started eating MY food...and dey decided that mi chicken was rather nice...so aniwae..by the time i started on mi chicken..it was all crumbly and mushy due to the dozen fork attacks endured...
yea..so the morale of the story again --> never order food that is very nice, u are asking to be attacked...here's a hint...try to order vegetarian <:P

Thursday, July 10, 2003

BIRD Movie Review : Finding Nemo
Great animation effects...superb adventure storyline...good humour..cool voice acting...decent enuff length..everything needed for a perfect animation from disney...quite touching to see a father's love...Marlin chiong and chiong just to save nemo....if u hafent watched this yet...erm..well..too bad sucka..
i give this movie --->
4.5 upon 5 Birds

"I really want to watch it again leh..." -- Xun Ming, Movie Critic Extraordinaire

ahh..sigh todae all mi ideas about how the EAST is the ideal place for living got shattered when the MRT broke down at tampines...wa lau...watz this man..government dun want to develop the east also dun need liddat rite...first they make all the buses go round and round..den dey dun provide SCV...dun provide ani shopping centres..dun provide any source of entertainment save for changi airport and east coast...it's alreadi bad enuff that im about 3 and a half hours from civilization den dey still must liddat..im pissed!!

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

finally an update regarding how stoopid i am! today i asked this question, "is it hentak kaki or hari kiri that means commit suicide arh?". u know, during footdrill in NCC dayz when they asked us to hentak kaki i always thought they were trying too hard to be funny.. asking us to take out knives and poke it through our stomach.. so finally i learned : hari kiri is to start marching on the spot.. while hentak kaki is to pull out a knife from somewhere, poke it in your stomach and draw a semicircle from kidney to appendix, letting your intestines spill out.. my seniors have been getting it wrong all along!! now we know! of course hari kiri sounded like english to me.. as u all might know footdrill commands are usually given in, er, malay (another thing about footdrill i have yet to figure out).. so i followed up with another highly intelligent question, "eh is hari kiri an english word?" ok i must admit that doesnt sound that stoopid..but believe me when i asked it i sounded really stoopid. oh during break today i also said something really really stoopid!! cant really remember what though ill have to get back to u..

oh and did i mention jervis whacked his own head yesterday with the squash racket while trying to hit the ball. im not the only stoopid one out there u know!
our guestmap is up! please visit (the link is on the sidebar on the left)!

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

ohh yea...u all should check this out, it's some girl's blog...dunno who she is but her command of the english language knows no bounds...RESPECT
if onli mi blog can be liddat...
BIRD Movie Review : Dumb and Dumberer
Crap..wat can i say..the movie is an exact protrayal of the title..slapstick downright lousy humour...onli go watch this if u cant get enuff of miss koh's or boon poh's "witty" jokes in class...haha...i give this movie--->
0.5 upon 5 Birds

BIRD Movie Review : Animatrix
wah...chim movies...about 10 to 15 minutes each..got about 8 or 9 of them...helps u gain a teeny weeny bit of understanding of the matrix...tho due to mi limited brain capability i ended up more confused...aniwae..i think itz supposed to be good lah..just that i cannot take it...so i give this movie--->
3 upon 5 Birds
first day of proper skool..i love it man...we got this relief chem teacher for miss loh...he looks a bit shihao tho...aniwae..he gave us some chem practical tips..he said during the actual thing u should onli be doing a titration 2 times..got no such thing as rough titration 1...haha...YAH! im SURE!! 2 times is the end lah...5 is the key..always remember that pple...
aniwae..i got B for econs and B for physics...totally vanquished by jervis...i think he become genius liao...shit man..study 55 times still B B...how liddat how?? <:P

Monday, July 07, 2003

do you know your arse from your elbow?
Bird Movie Review: Basic and Finding Nemo
Ok Basic is full of twists and is quite exciting for most of the movie..until the final twist at the end which totally sucked!! sucks like shit..all the bad people actually become good and the dead are suddenly alive..what rubbish.. if you have $7 to spend do NOT spend on this lousy movie, spend on "THE HULK" instead really hulk good hulk good lah why dun believe
Nemo is much better, its a nice cartoon about father fish and son fish who get separated.. then they go thru a lot before reuniting. however its not that nice lah, everyone keep saying damn good, well its not that good..so there.. doesn't deserve 5 stars from the life review

Sunday, July 06, 2003

wah! todae damn fun damn fun...went to rence's old house which is presently vacant cos no one rented it...went there played squash tennis and stone around in the house..like chalet leh!! but dunno why the house no food in the fridge 1..i mean where got house no food 1?? aniwae..i din spoil ani games todae lor..lui arrived in slippers...he said they veri good for playing..haha..and so while dashing for a perfectly exectued rence hulky smash..he proceeded in falling flat on his face...hahahahah...
oh but datz not it...we bought some fruit tree 1litre orange juice also....it finished rather quickly due to the 5 pple chionging it..den lui went to fill up with water...dunno wat for also...den we watched some tv..a while later...lui went to drink from the fruit tree carton..he promptly asked "the orange juice tastes veri plain leh...." yeaa..please big it up for Lui Yu Kwang once more! <:P

Saturday, July 05, 2003

today was suppposed to go to zoo for odac outing!! but i didn't go! sorry! i went to play pool instead! muhaha..wah and i must say rence has a lot of untapped flagging potential..in half an hour he collected a lot of coins and smack jervis upside down..

Friday, July 04, 2003

Bird's Movie Review!: The Hulk (beware! spoilers ahead..i like to spoil everyone's fun)

hrm..at first the movie is very slow paced..make me want to zzz..all the character development quite draggy..but is ultimately very important to the show..anyway the real fun is when the guy finally becomes damn pissed..then suddenly he becomes damn big and green..aka the HULK.. then that's where the show rocks man.. the first thing he hulk-smash is his science lab..wah shiok man see him destroy all the testtubes and equipment..next time during chem prac must try..mebbe can flatten ms lo as well muhaha (just kidding ms lo pls dun fail me for chem)...then see hulk smash some policemen and a evil scientist..aiyah no contest lah that one...
then hulk smash some giant mutant poodles sent by hulk's father to eat up hulk's girlfriend(see what an amazingly intricate plot)..see the hulk smashing the tanks is DAMN funny think about it will laugh one.. also hulk versus the helicopters is quite exciting..the final fight between hulk and his father, who becomes some damn powerful bad guy at the end..also very nice..
oh yah and the hulk's girlfriend jennifer conelly is very very very pretty woohoo
highly recommended by birdblog!! out in cinemas now GO WATCH IT FOOLS

and after you do please answer the following questions
1) how come hulk can run so fast and jump so far? smack superman sia..
2) whatever happened to hulks father? after he mutated himself he practically become a god..how come he dieded in the end..
3) why is it when non-hulk becomes hulk all his clothes explode except for his pants? not that i want to see his bird lah..no wait..actually i want..teehee <:B
hrm its 130 in the morning! why am i still up u ask? i answer: i am mugging thru the night! like always.. i think i will sleep at about 3..i mean 3 in the afternoon tml..not 3am..

haiya common test coming to an end i very sad leh.. life is so meaningless without my TYSes and my notes. i still cherish fond memories of the last major test, the promos..ahh the fruitful studying before promos that enriched me..i really enjoy studying for 3 hours in a row..i know some people cannot even tahan half an hour..but i feel so..ALIVE..when i mug..i feel a sense of sated satisfaction coursing thru my veins as i do, redo and reredo my tutorials.. the only time i feel so happy is when i am climbing mountain somewhere in malaysia..

then of course there is the actual exam..the adrenaline pumping hard and fast..i enjoy the feeling of tension and anxiety..the best part is when i look around and see everyone scratching their heads and chewing nervously on their pens...then i will also scratch my head and chew on my pen and look around and smile... and everyone will be fooled by my pretence. The fools! Deceived so ezly.. they are my competitors, my rivals, and i shall make them complacent.. Anyway where was i oh yah...i slowly but surely work my way through the paper..i am the inevitable force..and the paper the immovable object.. but i am stronger..i will prevail...i am the warrior of fate..the angel of death..the warrior of death..the angel of fate..err..my knowledge is at my fingertips..my pen is my sword..and i chop my way through the enemies of trigonometry and magnetism...

ahh but time flies like bird.. time is like an arrow..straight, unforgiving, unstraying, and err..dunno lah.. anyways..shit waht was i going to say..oh yah time is like an arrow. so yah time passes very fast and before you know it, the golden moments of one's life are no more

so to make a looong story short i urge you all to enjoy your common test while it lasts! I pity the humans students who have to play now that they cannot study anymore! muhahahaha suckers hahaha

Thursday, July 03, 2003

im very pleased to unveil mi own brand of apparel..check it out here <:P
sigh..i've been hit with two consecutive days of bad luck...lemme tell u the story of yesterdae...i rushed home after econs common test to practise mi math...upon reaching mi house gate i den realised dat i did not have mi house keys with me...immediately i thought --- "how liddat how??" well..i had no idea..so i just sat on the corridor and thought of math...about 15min later however..mi neighbour arrived home and saw mi sitting on the corridor looking very much like a bird...this is how the conversation went
Neighbour Auntie "Oh hello samuel, what are u doing sitting there?"
Bird "Oh i forgot to bring my housekeys..."
Neighbour Auntie "Oh dear, wat time will your parents be back?"
Bird "About 9pm liddat"
Neighbour Auntie "That is still 3 more hours away..why not u come into my house for a while?"
Bird "Oh no need no need...but can i ask a favour of you?"
Neighbour Auntie "Sure sure..you need a drink?"
Bird "Errm...no..actually i just need a Math ten year series..."

and den todae upon finishing the disastrous math paper..mi bag was nowhere to be found!! wa lau!! how suay can it get man...bet must be some idiots jealous of mi popularity who took it...terrible...ok aniwae lemme share this story with u...
THere were 2 boys, greedy boy and birdy boy. They went to eat at a seafood restuarant and ordered a set of 2 freshly steamed fish. Their order came soon after...however one fish was significantly bigger than the other. Greedy boy and Birdy boy both pondered waiting for each other to take a fish first. Eventually Greedy boy took the big fish for himself.
Birdy Boy "You Greedy boy!! how could u take the big fish??"
Greedy Boy "Then which fish would you have taken?"
Birdy Boy "Well i would have taken the small fish of course..."
Greedy Boy "Well that's what you have now isn't it?"

yeap..aniwae the here is the morale of the story ---> At a seafood restuarant, always try to order fish and chips...the fish is usually of the same size <:P

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

econs common test todae!! i alreadi memoriseed everything 55 times...so i've got nothing to do now...cos if i memorise one more time become 56 liao..not good not good...aniwae im sure to ace econs this time...LGC keep calling mi stupid..i'll show her! <:P

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

this proves im not the onli stupid guy around..even The Matrix also quite stupid...Matrix Bloopers
also i shall give u mi BIRD LOVE TIP number 1...here is what not to do during a first date

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