Wednesday, August 27, 2003

to my fans out there sorry for the long delay in updating! but first some extremely important news - today i went to the concourse toilet to pee..and then i saw in the squatting cubicle there was a cute lump of brown stuff lying on the floor just next to the shithole (what it's called anyway). i asked jervis to use his phone cam to take picture so can post here budden he dunwan. maybe because he's the one who left it there and he dun dare face it again!

oh yah today some seniors came to our class to talk a bit about chem..they say close one eye also can pass. since i open two eyes and fail, close one eye den pass, i think i shall close both eyes during prelims and alevel!! den can get A!! but during prac i close 2 eye how to see what colour arh...how liddat howhowhowhow

oh yah lemme tell you a "joke"
xxx: eh who's the guy from 6C arh..the weird one..kuang shi what arh...
bird: shi-hao..

Thursday, August 21, 2003

just watched world's stoopidest behaviour caught on tape..there was this (black) robber who tried to rob a bank..then the bank teller press the security button, and a screen came down to block off the teller from the robber.. so the robber tried to zao..but when he push the door it cannot open! so he start to swear and keep trying to push but still tak boleh.. turns out the door was not locked..just that he was supposed to Pull, not push..
also there was this scene where a white car pulls up into a parking space (those kind open on both sides one)..den this red car suddenly chiong the parking space..and literally push the white car out..

actually arh i think if we bring a video cam to school and film all my stoopid moments..can maybe make 2 or 3 episodes..den can send to the producers of the show..

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

yew jia's birthdae todae and i ate at NYDC for the first time! ordered some pasta thingy...mi jervis debra and yew jia all ordered the same thing...yew jia's one came first..it was nicely adorned with 5 huge meatballs..when mine came..i realised onli 1 tiny meatball could be seen...i decided that they must have hidden the rest under the layer of cheese so i proceeded in mashing and stirring up everything...in the end..no other meatball could be found (wat is this man?) and mi food looked kinda birdish...sigh..well..yet another bad dae at the restuarant fer birdie...

oh and check out Cristiano Ronaldo!!

Monday, August 18, 2003

just found out today that my friend's cousin's friend's friend was fined $7000!! question:why? answer: because she had 90mp3s on her computer!! that works out to roughly 7000 divide by 90 = $100 per mp3. (no need to check lah i got press my Bird calculator). ok now i have a hell lot of mp3s on my comp - all 3 of them - "hao xin fen shou" by candy lo, "Bird Sounds" by Bird and the orientation mass dance song.. so 3 x $100 = $400 if i get caught. how liddat how??

the only way is to throw my computer out my window! remember last time when i learned that sars can be spread through the internet? i straightaway grabbed my computer and threw it out! now i barely 3 months after my mum bought a new comp looks like i have to throw it out again..

Sunday, August 17, 2003

waaa..i watched christiano ronaldo play yesterdae...he is a killer!! and he's just a few months older than me...i want to be like him...i heard u tend to be like the pple u hang around with most often...so i shall hang posters of him all around mi room..maybe this way i can be him soon enuff!

Friday, August 15, 2003

hafent updated fer a week! sorrie fans...aniwae..got a piece of very exciting news!! i think mi physics practical teacher has psychic powers!! he had this ruler with two pendulums attached..one longer than the other...then he held the ruler by its ends..our class den asked him some questions and the pendulums started swinging by themselves!! whoa man..shiwei asked him whether Bird is stupid..the longer pendulum started swinging meaning the answer was NO..hahah...i always knew i had it in me...yahh..aniwae..im totally convinced that mi teacher is some sort of X-Men..(he is Mr Benny Lee) btw...all those who know him make sure u ask him about his psychic powers!

ohh and yesterdae i queued fer 2 and a half hours to get a good table for prom nite...i managed to be 7th in the queue so when i had the chance to choose table..alot were still available...now i was perfectly happy to take table 7 but upon enquiry i found out that table 1 was not yet taken!! like how stupid are the front pple in the queue man..queue so long and in the end dun take table 1...yahh..i was delighted and immediately said i would take table 1..wat followed was a chorus of laughs...even the councillors couldn't resist a snigger or two...in the end..thanx to some kind souls..i din take table 1..and i realised wat a good thing it was when i saw the floor plan of the ballroom later that day...heng man...i can just imagine the scoldings i'll get from mi class if i had taken table 1...heng heng...<:P

BIRD quote of the Day -->
"Two Wrights don't make a wrong, they make an aeroplane"

Sunday, August 10, 2003

check out the picture man! don't you think she's an angel sent down from heaven? so pretty! i think im falling in lurrve~~(now now girls dun be jealous)!

i mean, check out the flawless complexion..the beautiful black eyes.. the fine beak...the short legs.. the shapely tail... and an absolutely fine pair of.... wings!! woohoo hot wings hee hee.

Saturday, August 09, 2003

new poll new poll..please vote everybody!!
Happie Birthday Singapore!!
hmm..ay who gave birth to Singapore ar?? <:P

Friday, August 08, 2003

Mr T. has generously decided to do a mirror of our blog! click here for more

XXX has done a mirror of birdblog too! click here. WARNING: NC-16!

|45t|y m3 |337 h4ck3r fr3^z @ d3 c0m 5<13^<3 <|uB h45 d0^3 4 m1rroR 2!! h3r3..t4|<35 4 wh1|3 2 |04D 50 B p4713^7

Thursday, August 07, 2003

ok i just took this internet iq test thingyamajiggy..and..guess what i got for my iq? *drumroll* boomboomboom....85!
damn am i a genius or what?! i mean seriously man! even though this blog is called "bird's tome of stoopidity", and everyone keeps calling me stoopid, i've always known i was a clever intelligent bird...always covering my brains under a mask of stoopid actions and words... finally! i mean, its no mean feat being in the 85th percentile worldwide in terms of intelligence ok. even forest gump only got 70. im so bloody clever~~

what i don't understand is how come my friend can get above 100 leh..how can anyone be 130th percentile arh?? er, 130% x 100 = 130 err 130 - 30 = 100..well i don't really understand - and when i dun understand something - it means he must be cheating! click here for the iq test! i dare u to beat me man! and btw no cheating! if your score is above 100 means u cheat means u must retake until u get under 100!

oh yah today went holland v with class...my beloved birdians were in front..then on the way to the main road, before the evil uphill climb..birdians decided to turn right into dis ulu road which nobody ever takes! why?? "shortcut to holland v.." so we turn right..and walk through a maze of housing estate...wah like climb mountain liddat.. rence said "eh samuel i never bring climbing shoes leh". den turns out birdsoc was not going holland v... they go buonavista to eat at the kopitiam or sth.. aiyahz kena birdz againz! nvm lah hor walk a bit more nvm one <:B
ahh..got back my chemistry QA pract test results todae...but i onli got 23/55!! dat is an O!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOO....wat is the world coming to...i added sodium hydroxide and everything else five times wat..how come still cannot work?? sigh...aniwae..i got beaten flat..totally thrashed..hammered..whacked..by jervis at squash!! totally embarrassing...
think i'll go train mi typing again...A A A B B B C C C D D D E E E F F F G G G H H H I I I J J J L L L..aiyah..tired liao..shit i always get tried after typing L...liddat how to practise my M and Ns?? <:P

Sunday, August 03, 2003

today i saw the real madrid vs the china match.. wah the real very power sia..smack the china 4-0..then at the end of the match zidane did his special trick which stun everyone..including his own teammates... he scratched his balls for everyone to see (including the camera)..wah liddat i also can lah..why real madrid never ask me to join them <:B

Saturday, August 02, 2003

ohh yeaa...i played the typing game yesterdae in the library...(check it out) and realised my typing really cannot make it...i got like 100 cpm onli!! terrible terrible...i think i need some practice...a a a b b b c c c d d d e e e f f f g g g h h h i i i j j j k k k l l l...aiyahh...tired liao...tmrw i shall practise again...i shall qie all of u one dae lor..watch out!
update!! todae i finaly reallised i speled stoopidity on the title wrongly! from now on this blog shall be known as Bird's Tome of Stoopidity

also ali g my black brother has decided to make a version of mi birdblog.. big up to ali g..click here

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