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Tuesday, September 30, 2003

ahhh..was flipping thru the Life newspaper and reading the garfield comic when a picture on the facing page caught my eye...arrgghhhgh..my eyes will never be the same again...

Monday, September 29, 2003

hmm..exams being almost over has left me some time to watch soccer...especially my newcastle bottom dwellers..only wolves and them haf yet to win a match in the league...and wolves are..well they're wolves...newcastle's rock hard defence keeps providing assists to the opposing strikers...and more often than not will help the opposing strikers do their job..really solid..
maybe i should start supporting aston villa..they got this cool dude called j lloyld SAMUEL...

ok enuff 'bout soccer..i still got econs S..and after memorising 555 different quotes from 555 different pple from 555 different sources..im bound to get a U+! hahahaha..im so delighted..

Thursday, September 25, 2003

NEWSFLASH
IMPORTANT NEWS!! today during bio exam (yes bio is my secret 5th subject!! shh dun tell anyone ok..when i get 5As i will be top boy!) anyway there was this BIRD who was flying around in the exam hall...fei ah fei ah..den suddenly hor..it flew low and shitted on someone's lap! it was going to shit on me also.. budden it recognised me and we cheep cheep for a while and it help me copy some answers also..hee

BirdBlog Movie Review: Italian Job
QUite ok la..charlize theron quite pretty la.."the transporter" was there also..remember that show with shu qi inside?..er but the computer guy is too powerful already..makes everything too ez..and the bad guy very stoopid and lousy also..no challenge one..3/5 Birdbirds

Prelims over liao sianz x2 =sianzsianz life is meaningless without studying oh yah still got s paper gonna study 55x cya!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

today the straits times reported about stupid behaviour from arsenal players, who ji xiao the rood after he miss the penalty, and also stupid behaviour from the shariff who punched some guy.. absolutely reprehensible (wah) man..i tell u arh...er..what arh? i forgot liao.. but you know what the worst part is? teh straits times spell stoopid as stupid!! i mean, like ddUhZ~!! it's stOOpid, stoopid

anyways i award the purple cross of stoopidity to rood(for missing the penalty and make my fantasy league clay!), arsenal and shariff for displaying stoopidity of the highest level! grats!

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

BirdBlog Quote of the Day -->
"If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there"

Monday, September 22, 2003

yay! now mi blog looks like any other blog complete with the "I hate the world" entry..haha..
aniwae i realli dun see wat is wrong with those pple..i mean like if you hate the world...just live in a cage lah! <:P
feeling bored..(well of cos i feel bored..i can memorise the notes from back to front alreadi!) yea aniwae mi random blog surfings have led me to discover there's sumfin missing in this cosy little blog of mine...it's the "I hate the world" blog that every other blog has..okae..to make mi blog complete i gotta do it..here goes..

erm...I hate the world! I hate you you and YOU! y u wasting yer time reading mi blog aniwae? the world's so screwed...i've got no time to do anithing and it's all your fault!!
i hate studying! i hate life! why is everyone around me so happy when im so depressed and down?? why is everyone so smart? my life stinks!!


prelims gonna be over in 3 days!! i cant wait man..cos after prelims over everyone will go celebrate and relax for a while...the library will be empty! den i can mug in peace! wahahahahah....hmm..oh no but dere'll be J1s studying too...hey wait a minute..do u think i could sneak into the hall and take the J1 promo papers?? i love the adrenaline rush of doing an exam! <:P
racism seen at red house!..today got 3 indian waiting for bus 7..den when the bus come, the indians move to the front of the bus stop to flag it..so the bus come..and stop.. then it drove off..without picking them up! see la. "is it coz i is black?" - ali g

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

aiyah prelims over already so sad..why does time fly when ur enjoying urself? sighz

BIRDBIRD movie review
SWAT
recipe for successful movie: one yandao (like me..see pic above..).. one cool black guy.... ah nehs not counted hor. one tomb raider lookalike.. guns.. and police!! i want to be poolice when (if) i grow up.. give me the damn police scholarship already!! even though singapore swat zuo bo lan one.. all the criminals damn useless (wonder why..coughmatcough..)
3/5 BIRDS

Pirates of the Caribbean
very good..don't be fooled by the lousy trailer. got both action, comedy and luv.johnny depp as captain jack sparrow is damn cool and funny..savvY? but the elf not as handsome without his blond hair and pointed ears and bow and arrow..still, a must watch!
4/5 BIRDS

Turn Left Turn Right
you know you're in for a real treat when the mediacorp studios logo appears at the start of the show..about two starcrossed-loveBIRDs who always go in opposite direction when they leave their apartments..so they never meet. the movie is 2 hours long..but actually it should only be 1 hour..because whatever happens to the guy also happens to the girl..eg guy falls sick and sneezes..next scene, girl is also sick and sneezes.. or guy calls food delivery and orders chicken rice..next scene, girl calls food delivery and orders chicken rice.. another thing is edmund chen who makes a fool of himself without being funny in the show..somemore dub his voice until like shit.. and gigi leung spends half the show whining/crying... and watch out for the earth shaking ending! Luckily there are some funny moments in the show, which salvage it a bit. And lastly to the people who watched or are going to watch the show twice (which actually means watching the show 4 times in total)... i award you the purple cross of stoopidity..birdblogs highest honour for stoopidity displayed.
-1.5/5 BIRDS

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

chem paper today was a killer!! i dun get it..could it be that 55 times mite not be enough? i think i gotta revamp mi exam strategy..maybe i should start reading questions 55 times from now on..like this den i wont make any careless mistakes...
aniway..some quote i found on a notice board in school..
"Aerodynamically, a bumblebee should not be able to fly, but it does not know that, so it goes on flying anyway"
does this mean that if i dunno that im stupid, i won't be?

some related racist joke..
little indian boy decides to play hide-and-seek with his friends, upon commencing of the game, little indian boy runs to the middle of the field and covers his eyes with his hands, when the catcher asked him what he was doing, little indian boy replied with a smug "Well if I can't see anybody, no one can see me!"

Monday, September 15, 2003

1) was it a hoax?
2) is there a god?
3) who is Birdman? is he related to me?
4) am i stoopid?
5) what do you call the study of bhais?

answers

1) maybe
2) dunno
3) no relation
4) yes
5) bhaiology! haha

answers to life's toughest questions, only on birdblog! ask away on the tagboard

prelims started today..so fun..i hope it never ends

Thursday, September 11, 2003

"Life is tough, but...

...it's tougher when you're stoopid."

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

some man kena Sars. i hope prelims not cancelled! i studied 55 times for it and if they postpone it ill forget everything and have to study 55x again! please don't cancel..please don't..please lah please lah eh cmon lah please lah dun liddat lah please lah

to finish off our current theme on racial harmony, here's Jokes part 3..
Black jokes
Why do niggers smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them too
Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time?
He doesn't know he's black
Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
He's black
What's long and black?
The unemployment line
What do you say when you see your t.v. floating around at night?
Drop it nigger
Why are niggers so strong?
T.V.'s are getting heavier
Why are niggers so fast?
the slow ones are in jail
What do you call a white man surrounded by 5 black men?
A victim
How about a white man surrounded by 10 men?
A quarter-back
How about a white man surrounded by 20 black men?
A basketball coach
and a white man surrounded by 40 black men?
A football coach
and finally a white man surrounded by 1,000 black men?
a warden

here's a chinese joke
what do you call a fat chinese man?
a chunk

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Bird's Joke(s) of the Day part 2 (part 1 was about bhais)
AWAS! Mat jokes!

What do you call a small Malay?
a mini mat
What do you call a small, cheap Malay?
econ mini mat
How do you confuse a Mat?
Put him in a circular room and ask him to relak one corner.
What do you call a Mat riding a bicycle?
a rich mat
What do you call a Mat driving a Nissan
A thief
What do you call a Mat driving a police car?
A stupid thief
What do you call a Mat riding in a police car?
a slow thief
What do you call a Mat driving a Rolls Royce?
A chauffeur
What do you call a Mat driving an aeroplane?
a hijacker

Monday, September 08, 2003

haha jervis, don't need to buy a bird.... y dunch you juz own me... i not bad right? juz that every thing i do i need to do it 55 times!

Sunday, September 07, 2003

eh jervis. buy a Bird la
jervis' rabbit passed away yesterdae..let us all mourn for it and let us all learn a lesson from it-->
Never name a rabbit Milo, otherwise it might pass away

Thursday, September 04, 2003

warning: racist comments ahead! Police/President Scholarship Interviewers Who Have been directed to birdblog STOP HERE READ NO FURTHER
sooo..today i was sitting in the canteen..when in the distance i saw a Bhai with a capital B...so jervis pinched rence damn hard..but rence too much meat lah, cannot pinch properly one. should have pinched me instead!

What do you call a Singh who drinks only soft drinks?
Yeo Hiap Singh
What do you call a Bhai porn actress?
Hard Kaur
What do you call baby Singhs?
Singhlets
..and my favourite, What do you call the study of Singhs?
Bhailogy

dedicated to the idiots of S03 with bhaio prac tml! gl..

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

oh yah i nearly forgot to tell you i brought this stencil thingy for prac today..it comes with a lot of holes in the middle for drawing various sizes of o, 0 and O..so to be extra neat and to earn extra marks with the examiner everytime i had to write o <-- pronounced "ohh" or 0 <-- "Zero" or O <-- "Big ohh", i used the stencil. clever eh! i also drew two neat little circles at the side so next time can punch hole.
prelims started today with a bang..physics prac = SOOOOO EZZZZZZ man what an insult to my stoopidity. close one eye also pass close 2 eyes and get A zzzzzz i cant believe i went through all the practicals 55x, 54x would have been enough. somemore i had so much time enough to swing the paper clips i had time to swing for each value of n, 5x, and instead of taking twenty oscillations i took 55 oscillations before i divide by 55 and times 20 BUT SHH its a secret dont tell anyone ok! Tmr for chem prac..watch out world for I AM 55X MAN (55x is pronounced "fifty-five times" and not "55 ex")

Monday, September 01, 2003

i just learned today what a fraternity is..it's something like a house in a US university, like Buckley or Moor or whatever, and basically brothers go and get drunk and do stoopid things together. not that i have to be drunk to be stoopid.. yah anyway infact a bit more like AMK369 or Tua Pek Gong SS or ODAC or Pasir Ris Pimps than the RI houses.. membership is by invitation only. now check this..there's this house called "Skull and Crossbones" in Yale University..damn xclusive one..Bush Snr and Bush Jnr came from there.. Now, if a member of this "skull and crossbones" fraternity is not a milllionaire by age of 30, he WILL BE MADE a millionaire through little donations from the other alumni of "skull and Crossbones".
tt's it guys im packing my bags and heading for yale!! if im not a millionaire by 30, ill be a millionaire after that!

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